Cleaning House with Reconciliation

Generally, I blog about children's formation.  But this one is for the grown ups...

Last night we had our Parent Meeting for First Reconciliation Preparation.  I always enjoy this opportunity to talk with adults about this often misunderstood and under-appreciated Sacrament.  We start by asking parents to recall their own childhood experience(s) with Reconciliation - What did it look like?  Who was there?  And most importantly - How did it make you feel?  Unfortunately, the answers to that last question are almost always negative, and last night was no exception.  Parents remember feeling scared, embarrassed, intimidated, and ashamed.  My goal is to help parents see the Sacrament in a new way, so that they can prepare their child for a positive, uplifting experience.

After a very brief look at the history of the Sacrament, we delve into the question: what is sin?  Sin is anything that causes a break or strain in our relationship with God.  Sin often also causes a similar break in our relationships to others.  And, because we are all members of the Body of Christ, our personal brokenness weakens our faith community.  Sin is both personal and communal.

Not all sins are created equal.  Certain sins create a much larger and more severe break in our relationship with God and our community.  Things like murder, theft, and adultery are considered "mortal" - or serious - sins when the sinner both understands the seriousness of the sin and freely chooses to commit it.  These sins require the Sacrament of Reconciliation to help us heal that wound.  It would be quite unusual for a second grader to commit a mortal sin.  So for many, this begs the questions: Why do we "make" kids celebrate this Sacrament?  And the follow-up question: Why should I, as an adult who has not committed mortal sin, "have" to go to confession?  The best way I've come up with to answer those questions is the analogy of cleaning your house...

Think of your soul, and your relationship with God, as your house.  Every day, you do little things to clean up around the house - loading the dishwasher, wiping the counter, tossing your clothes in the hamper.  Similarly, every day we are called to pray - to spend time with God contemplating our actions, asking forgiveness when we fall short of living as Jesus would, and asking God to help us do better.  This is our daily "straightening up" of our relationship with God.

Once a week, you probably do things like vacuuming the carpets and dusting.  This more focused cleaning effort helps keep your house manageable throughout the week.  This is like attending Mass, with the Penitential Rites and many prayers of forgiveness.  The prayers of the Mass are sufficient for the forgiveness of most sins and prepare us to receive Christ in the Eucharist, which sustains our faith life throughout the week. 

Then, once or twice a year, you do a good, thorough cleaning.  Perhaps you get your carpets shampooed, clean the baseboards, or move the fridge to clean behind it.  I love the feeling of peace I get when the house is really clean.  This is like the Sacrament of Reconciliation!  It's a deep cleaning for our souls, a chance to really reflect on bad habits we've too easily fallen into and start afresh with a clean slate.  Ideally, it brings us a sense of peace, comfort, and renewed energy to live our faith.

But what about mortal sin?  Or a sin that may not officially be categorized as mortal, but for whatever reason is eating away at you and making it hard to feel authentic in your relationship with God?  The example I use for these situations always gets a few giggles, but it's a pretty effective visual: sometimes my dog poops on the floor.  I don't leave it there until spring cleaning time; I deal with it immediately.  Those sins that are eating at us are like the poop on the floor - we must deal with them right away.  This is why we may sometimes feel the need for the Sacrament of Reconciliation more than once or twice per year, and this is why the Church teaches it is necessary in the case of mortal sin.

When we celebrate First Reconciliation at Risen Savior, we actually celebrate; our service is followed by a reception with treats and colorful balloons.  If I've done my job, this makes perfect sense to the children, because they recognize the peace and joy that this Sacrament brings.  If I've done my job really well, it makes sense to the parents, too.  And ultimately, with the help of the Spirit, I hope that our families will be inspired to join the celebration again and again!