This month's GIFT topic, "The Life of Jesus," presented a challenge. It's a pretty big topic, and I knew I couldn't spend a lot of time babbling away at the front of the room. So we tried something new. Families moved from table to table, "walking through" different parts of Jesus' life. One brave parent at each table took on the job of "Table Leader" - reading the instructions and leading discussions at each rotation. Our 4 learning stations were:
1. The birth and childhood of Jesus
2. The Baptism of Jesus and his Temptation in the desert
3. The Calling of the first disciples and the Beatitudes
4. The Miracles of Jesus, including his Resurrection
For those who missed the session or for my Faith Formation colleagues, there are pdf links at the bottom of this page to the various handouts as well as the Table Leader instruction packets. For those who were there...
Now your child knows everything about the life of Jesus, right?
Of course not. Remember, I have my own child in GIFT. He not only attends his own session, but he's usually around at all four each month. And trust me, he does not know everything about the life of Jesus - not even everything we "learned" at GIFT this month. However, he learns a little bit more every year, and with some prompting, he can recall not only things we've done at GIFT, but a little of why we did them and what we learned. This is the beauty of family-based formation - you are there, so you can reinforce what was taught just by chatting with your child. Here are some specific ideas for how you can help children of various ages get to know Jesus a little better...
First Grade: Children in first grade are learning how to do more things on their own and be responsible for their relationships, so it's great to remind them to think about treating others the way Jesus would. They also like to tell stories about other children who act up or "get in trouble" at school. It's OK to say something like, "that doesn't sound like very nice behavior." But I also like to go a little further and ask, "Why do you think that child acted that way?" or "How do you think that made the other child feel?" This helps children develop a sense of empathy - thinking about someone else's feelings rather than just their own. First graders are also developing their reading skills, and I'm sure your child's teacher has asked you to read at home every day. We have some great books about Jesus, the Bible, Saints, and values in our library here at the church.
Second Grade: If your child is preparing for Sacraments this year, the best thing you can do is to bring faith into your everyday occurrences. Right now, as we prepare for Reconciliation, focus on forgiveness and following rules. Point out how behaviors - both positive and negative - affect relationships. Your child is probably able to read their GIFT lessons more independently now, but don't be tempted to completely disengage. Remember that you can't reinforce a lesson if you don't know the content of it. When you read Bible stories and parables with your child, try to think of situations you've experienced that are similar. For example, when reading about the Good Samaritan or loving your enemies, you could ask your child what he/she would do if their best friend were hurt. Then, ask what they would do if someone they've expressed dislike for (a neighborhood bully, for example) were hurt. If it's not the same answer, you have a teachable moment!
Third Grade: My third grader likes to talk, which has led to some great conversations about faith and values. He also likes to get things right, so if I quiz him about something we talked about at GIFT or read in his textbook, he usually views it as a fun game and plays along. But he can be moodier now than he used to be, so I choose my moments and back off if it's not the right time. One thing I have found is that when we're doing his book lessons, he just wants to do what's there on the page and take the quiz - he doesn't like me to get too "teacher-ish" with him. But later, I can refer to something we read and open up a conversation, and he's much more open to it. This works especially well in the car, probably because he doesn't have much of anything else to do! My daughter, on the other hand, became very stressed out about school and friendships when she was in third grade. I have read that this is not unusual. if your child is experiencing a lot of stress, try focusing on prayer as a way to find comfort and work through their feelings. Don't add to their stress by expecting them to do a lot of memorizing - they have a lifetime of faith formation ahead of them!
Fourth Grade: If your expectations of your fourth grader stem from your own memories of that age, you could be in trouble! It's sometimes shocking to parents how much their fourth grader starts acting more like a teen. They may become much more concerned about what they're wearing and how they look. If you say no to wearing makeup to school or jeans that expose large portions of boxer shorts, you may be declared the meanest or strictest or lamest parent ever. You're not. Now is the time to know what your expectations for behavior are and to make those expectations clear. You do not need to give your child a reason for every rule - my kids have definitely heard, "because I'm the mom" or "because I said so" plenty of times. But you should have a reason, even if you don't choose to share it. In other words, know your own values, so that you can better share them with your child. Remember the old phrase, "If you don't stand for something, you'll fall for anything." This might also be a good time to help your child find things to stand for. Get involved in service and social justice. Pre-teens are naturally focused on themselves - how do I fit in, how do others see me...me, me me. Taking time to help others provides a little balance.
ALL Grades: 3 words - Go. To. Church. Regularly getting your familys' buns in the pews for Mass may be challenging, but it clearly sends the message to your children that you are, in fact, Catholic Christians and that faith is a part of your regular routine.
For more about grade-by-grade development, check out http://www.pbs.org/parents/goingtoschool/
Documents from November GIFT:
Learning Station One
Learning Station 2
Learning Station 3
Learning Station 4
Beatitudes for Children
When Jesus Was Your Age
